Sitting

I have been allocating a fair amount of mental space lately to a particular dynamic, a new dynamic, that has bubbled up within a close personal relationship. Mostly, I am sitting with it, unsure about how to move forward or in what direction. This act of sitting feels like self-care. This act of sitting feels wise, like the choice to stay out of the water when there are rip-tide warnings; how much better to wait for the high energy to pass before choosing to wade back in. But, this act of sitting does not come easy for me, the one who likes to put words onto things, to hear words and trade words in order to gain understanding. It is worrisome spending too much time in my own head.

I cleaned the house today and, in the course of things, Muppet’s blanket — her deep source of safety and security — was tossed to the ground. In the middle of my rip-tide of cleaning, I turned to find Muppet peacefully asleep on her little island of blanket safety. It is okay to want to be safe. It is okay to not wade into churning waters. No one is calling for a hero’s rescue. So, I will continue my sitting.

Day 33