I won’t write about Annie every single day, but I will write about her today. That little pup has been through a vast amount of change over a very short amount of time. She is never going back to her former home and will never see her first mama again, none of which she knows or can understand. All she knows is that everything has changed. Everything. And it is no surprise that her brain has processed only so much of what has and is happening to her. She is in disruption.
We are too, a bit, trying to meet her needs and keep everyone else on an even keel. We are imperfect at that which, of course, is best evidence as to our own state of disruption. We brought Annie to the vet today to fill out our incomplete picture of her needs and also to expand our toolkit to make things better. She was mostly cooperative. She was also stressed out. Muppet gets quite stressed out at the vet. So does Giada. But we mean something to them and they draw on that in those moments like clingy wood ticks. I’m afraid we do not mean enough to Annie yet and she had a little woozy, stress reaction right there in the vet office. The vet took her to a quiet, dark corner in the back of the clinic, away from the lights and noise and needles, and in fifteen minutes, Miss Annie was back to herself again, mostly. Still, it broke my heart. She lost that, her lifeline of safety and belonging and she needed it right then. Kindness is not enough….or it is only just the start and, though you have to start somewhere, you also have to keep going, keep giving, keep being there. You have to be willing to matter. It will be better again, Annie, I promise.